Red Cardinal, in the street.

Red cardinal, in the street.

Hopeless. Red. S i t t i n g . Crossing its feet. This is what I saw when I encountered this red cardinal in the street. It didn’t seem sad at first, thinking it was just a leaf. Until I looked closely and truly realized. No. This. Is a red cardinal, in the street. I got up close and analyzed its beak. It was red, it was real, and it truly was a red cardinal in the street. I was so sad thinking why is it sitting there, just crossing its feet. I’ve never been so close before, I wonder if it’s okay? Is it sick, is it broken? What’s wrong with its wings? As I analyzed this cardinal, I walked away sad because it looked so hopeless, down, depressed. Sitting there just waiting to be crushed by a car's wheel just speeding through the street. As I walked away, my head sunk down, not knowing what to do and sad and filled with defeat. When I felt a voice say “don’t leave my creation” I knew in my heart it was God reminding me that they too have a heartbeat. As I walked back I grabbed a stick. Not knowing what was next, but knowing I needed something to reach this little red cardinal that was just sitting in the street. As I walked, tears flooded my eyes. “You’re too beautiful to die.” I said as I tickled his belly with the stick filled with leaves. When I tickled his belly, he looked at me. He was filled with hope, peace, but could have also been confused thinking, why’d you leave the 99,  j u s t   f o r   m e  ? He flapped his wings and flew into the tree, with hope in knowing that he was loved, known, cared for and seen. As I walked away feeling good about myself, I was reminded that the cardinal in the street, was a representation of  m e .

Naked + Afraid

Naked & Afraid

I was afraid to come and preach to you today. But that's not my job, it's Pastors. I've been trying to ask God to light the way I because it seems as if l've been in this pit of never ending darkness. I even told my leader not to let me display this heaviness and the way that I've been feeling. I've been asking God to help me sway these thoughts emotions a feelings away, but, I just can’t shake them. In this season, yea, this one I have been depressed like Elijah, fighting the urge to fall back into my old ways to cover the pain to be drunk like Noah, I've been proud like saul, & so down dirty and low, and full of shame probably the same way David felt when he fell with Bathsheba.

It's not like i've dome anything physically in this season but the devil just kept reminding me of the past life I used to live.

l've been Naked and Afraid and full of guilt and shame just as Adam and Eve felt in the garden of Eden.

Eden, the place of bliss + true Onessess with God, so God, IF I'm feeling all of these ways why in the world did you change my name? I thought life would change when I got up out of the water and was baptized in your hame but now it’s as if l've sunken into the deep waters of shame just like Peter. And the only way out is to lift my hands in praise even when things may still feel the same. Lord Please help me to cast away all this shame, pain and lying games from the enemy because at the sight of your name demons can only tremble and shake and be broken off, flee, and casted away. So LORD this is not my fight to try and overcome shame. But it’s yours. Because you already made a way, paved the way by dying on Calvary you paid the shame.

So by me reflecting on the things I’ve done and not being the creation you’ve made me. I only give the enemy a foothold in this cycle of shame. So father, when l'm feeling condemned, I will call out your name, because you’ve aready paid the price, so help me to shake these demons away and trust in your name. Because your name is above all names. So no more shame, just me, inviting you into my everyday. Help me to be bold because it’s already, Paid. There’s no need for me to be Naked and Afraid

Back to the garden

Back to the garden…

What does it mean? When The One who created you in the fabric of your mother’s womb, is drawing you to go back to the garden? It means He’s bringing you back to His original design. He’s unlocking the gifts, the purposes, the plans all of the creativity wrapped within His mind. He’s bringing you fruit. Love Joy, patience and peace. The true fruit that was supposed to be consumed before the fall and the tree. The ones that were once so deeply embedded within the prince of peace but are now opened through His blood and by The spirit that dwells within you and me. He’s calling us to go Back To The Garden.

Outside of the garden it was so cold so dark, and I felt so alone. It was filled with so much pain so much regret so much shame and I was there for so long, I even lost track of my name “Who are you?” They say. God says you are Eden, but I was fighting so much. But now, he’s calling me to go back to the garden. I almost forgot what life was like inside the garden…

Sitting now in the garden, I think to myself. How was I without your presence for so long, Oh, Lord? Thank you for unlocking me. Thank you for bringing me back to Eden. Thank you for bringing Eden back into Eden. Oh, God. You are so creative, God you are so wonderful, God you are so beautiful. Oh Lord, what would I do without your presence I wouldn’t be who you’re calling me to be. I wouldn’t be Eden. I wouldn’t be anything, God you are everything. Thank you for bringing me back. Thank you for bringing me back… Thank you for bringing me back. Back to the garden.

The garden of Eden.